There were other beautiful, sexy female students, but for some reason, I was drawn to her. I wanted to know her name, to stand close and feel her next to me. I was much too shy to go up and talk to her, but started finding tables closer to where she was sitting, hoping by some miracle, we would meet and my fantasies would miraculously come true, but it never happened until one night, a month or so later we met in the most surprising way. It was winter and my month’s meal tickets expired. At the same time, I left the small room where I had been living, not sure where I would sleep at night, and though I had no plan, fortuitous things always seem to happen, convincing me to trust and embrace the unknown. Be open to what presents itself. Anyway, I was telling Han’s, a friend from Holland my situation. He told me he had a room in a cheap hotel and said he would sneak me in and I could stay there. We just had to be careful. Hans was tall with sandy colored hair, a small goatee and had a. The trip to the restaurant was short and didn’t leave me much time to brood. I’d arrived early to make sure that our reservations were kept, and waited at the bar until Anna arrived.I sipped my club soda trying to order my thoughts as my stomach did occasional flips when she walked in. She wore a little black dress with a half jacket. She’d filled out slightly, but still looked and moved like a ballerina, floating across the floor. Nearly every man, and many women, turned to look at her. She stood at the hostess station waiting until she noticed me, and her whole face lit with a smile that radiated joy.OK, I thought to myself, I am still fucked.I could only watch her. I felt ever bit the backwards boy in that moment, clumsy and oafish. Her beauty still seemed ethereal to my very mundane earthiness. She glided to me, a teasing smile on her lips as she noticed my nervousness. She took my hands in hers; her whole body seemed to pour out her love, washing me in her radiance.“I told you I.
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