This is not the time. This is to be my last time with Mistress before I go into harm's way. This is to be what I carry with me, what I leave behind me. This is to be all, for a long time, and perhaps forever.The room I've rented for us has a hot tub. That's important for me. My Mistress is minutes away. I set out to prepare for her. Oils I set out, and shampoo, conditioner, towels. Sea-sponge. I lay out clothing upon the bed for later. I take off my clothes swiftly and shower before Mistress arrives, so as to be clean to attend her.Mistress arrives. The door opens and I see for a second, unguarded worry in her eyes. I will not have it, will not allow it. Not tonight. Tonight, there is no tomorrow, and there are only three people in the world. I take Mistress' hand before she can speak and guide her into the room. Her dark fingers clutch hard for a moment on my own pale ones. I curtsey as Mistress enters and I take her coat and hang it. The routine of me taking her coat stops her from. ..”He didn’t get to finish. I kissed him.Scared. He could’ve pulled away. Refused.Didn’t. Melted right into me... I melted back.I sighed.He said “Damn. Damn damn damn DAMN damn.”“What’s that mean?”“Means I might be crazy, but I don’t want to stop.”“Crazy’s okay, Carl.”“I ... I wanted to kiss you, Sunny.”“Why didn’t you?”“Scared. If I was imagining things, I could be in deep shit.”“Either of us...”“Oh, yeah ... Let’s see. Uh, Bill, I need to do something. Sunny’s making inappropriate advances...”I kissed him again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. Fluke? My toes curled.“The opinions would swing between ‘Are you freakin’ CRAZY?!?’ and ‘You lucky sumbitch... ‘“ and he put a hand behind my back and pulled me against him.“Tell me I’m not crazy.”“We both are.”“Sunny ... we can stop. I’m a weirdo. I can’t do this stuff and not think it means something...”“It means something,” I said. “It means I’m being kissed in a most remarkable and wonderful fashion by somebody whom I regard with more.
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