It seemed somehow strange to walk into the graveyard on a sunny summer day,instead of visiting it in a fog, or under a full moon, but there I waswalking across the green grass, go up a gentle hill, and there it was.I looked down at the simple headstone that marked my father's resting place,and I began to talk to him."Hey Dad." Guess what? Its a girl!" I did a little twirl to show my new-made curves."I wonder what you would have thought about me transitioning. I hope you'dbe okay with me being your daughter, but the military isnt exactly the homeof a lot of free thinkers."I sighted."But even if you struggled with it, even if you hated it, I'd still ratheryou be here."I put the small bouquet of flowers beside the headstone, straightened up,and turned to walk away.I didnt really lose it until I got back to my car.Having female hormones flowing through me wasnt a totally new experience,but I still got caught off-guard by how much I cried, great sobs for longerthan I thought possible, even. He only took a belt to me a few times more of a punitive strike to try to break my non-aggressive gentle mien. Now he barely mumbled my name and never bragged about me like other dads did with their eleven-year-old scions, even though I skipped two grades and held top marks. In an odd ironic way I felt sorry that I let him down; that biology made me disappoint his dreams and anticipation. A father's pride and desires deserved better than having to adjust and cope with something that was neither our faults. It wasn't a case of changing his mind and attitude; I had to re-adjust his disappointment and affections.Makeup was done and it barely looked like I was wearing any as my lips and rosy cheeks and lush feathery lashes were subtly enhanced just like Janie should it should be for our tender ages."Hurry up or we'll be late for service!" Dad barked from downstairs in his weary dispassionate grumble. Startled, I looked up at the gray double-breasted suit hanging on my closet door, still.
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