" The girls looked at me, and then looked at each other in a silent conversation. It seemed I was the first to broach the topic with the two, and they were very eager to share their story. I assumed the unaccustomed role of student, and the two of them became my teacher.Stacey, the loquacious little professor who was always happy to hear the sound of her voice, said, "I'm not trying to downplay the question, but there is some unhappiness within you that must be quashed or you're going to go bonkers. You really need to lose the hubby and find a woman. That appears to be at the crux of your misery. Obviously, if you can't admit what you are then you will never be happy. I'm sorry if I'm being bitchy, but don't you think you should?"I paused, realizing that this teenager had hit the nail on the head, and then said, "You don't know my story, it's hard for me. I've been through a few things that have messed me up." It's not easy for any of us to be gay and face the ridicule. I've had it. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. “Ah…” said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two c***dren.” “That’s what you think!” said the man scornfully. “I’m the father of THREE c***dren.” The woman grinned and said, “That’s what YOU think!”151. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a fucking club and a spade.152. On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”I took a drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied, “I am. That’s why she cuts the grass.”153. I went to the doctor the other day and found out my new doctor is a young.
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