Not whenever they needed, provided it didn’t clash with me being with the other. What kind of a love or life would that be?With this hardest of realizations hurting my head, I momentarily tuned out, lost in a different world for a moment, suddenly tuning back in to hear the end of a conversation, hearing Sue’s words to Grace.“… give Pete and me a few minutes please, then he can come to you.”Maybe this was some guy’s secret fantasy, tossed between two women, but at that moment it was my idea of hell. It broke my heart not to be fully there, fully loving and supporting both Sue and Grace. At that moment I’d have given almost anything to turn back time, to a simpler time where I’d not be hurting and disappointing both of these wonderful human beings.As Grace quietly lifted her body from our bed and timidly left the room, Sue turned back to me. She could see the hurt and pain in my face, and I felt a warmth through my whole body as she smiled at me and gave me the softest of kisses.For a. . which I thankfully didn't hit as I choked up a stinging mixture of bile, phlegm and thick white semen.I knelt there for a minute until my gagging subsided, then picked myself up and moved over to the counter. The toilet flushed itself as soon as I moved away. I used some tissues that were dispensed from a mysterious slot in the wall to dab at my eyes and took stock of myself in the mirror.I was a mess. I had gone light on the makeup, as was my style, but what I had on was in complete disarray. My mascara had run, my lipstick had smeared, and my cheeks were tear-streaked and desperately in need of powder. I pulled the ribbon on the plastic around the gift basket. It took a couple tries with my hands still shaking, but it came open and I started pulling things out, looking for supplies to make myself more presentable. I froze as I realized the quality of the items I was picking up. Chanel, Givenchy, Armani... These were products I'd never even dreamed of wasting my money on. It was.
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