I’m told they found me in a small park in London, wrapped in a blanket, unconscious. They couldn’t find anything physically wrong, but I didn’t speak for about a year after. I was in foster homes then until I was eighteen.” She paused, then went on, “I couldn’t afford college, and got a job as a junior in an office. I had a flat – bedsit, really – from a youth support agency, but I had to leave that when I reached twenty-one.”“So, what went wrong?”“I ... well ... I kept blacking out. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong, and I ended up in a psychiatric unit. They couldn’t help; they just wanted to give me pills and I didn’t see any point in that. Anyway, I lost my job. I got way behind with my rent. My landlord, well, you can guess, I suppose. When I wouldn’t give him sex, he put me out on the street. The few bits of furniture, that sort of thing, he kept ‘as part payment of back rent’. All I had was clothes and a sleeping-bag, and they were stolen the day before you found. Itwas to another part of town. I was never here before, but I found someboys playing basketball in an old parking lot. I got off my bike andwalked towards them. I had a smile on my face and I felt like myselfagain.There were 7 boys, so I asked them if I could play. One of the boyslooked at me and said he did not want a sissy to play. Another boy saidI was not a sissy, I was a girl. I then had to admit that theyconsidered my clothes to be girlish. I went up to them and took theball ad dribbled the ball telling them to come and take it from me ifthey wanted to. They could not take it away from me. For the next 45minutes, we played. It was the first time that I had so much fun inweeks! Before I went, I told them that my name was ash, and I wasnearly 9 years old. They told me I was great for only being 8 yearsold. They invited me back!So the next few weeks, I did my best to be a good well behaved girl athome. This is despite I had to wear the girlish clothes and live assomeone who liked.
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