She gave Tiffany a small kiss on the lips and pulled the sheet up to cover the girl’s nudity. “And good night.”“Night, Hailey,” Tiffany said. Phil put his arm around Hailey and turned to the door. “Oh, Mr. Warner, aren’t you forgetting something?”He glanced back at Tiffany who had puckered her lips in an exaggerated manner. He laughed and leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips.“Your boyfriend is trying to make out with me when I’m naked,” Tiffany said. “I think he digs me.”“I do dig you, you little shit,” Phil said. She caught his arm as he started to stand.“Thank you,” she said in a small voice.“I’m glad to have you here,” Phil told her. “I truly am.”Hailey put her arm around his waist as the shut off the light and closed the door.“That was very sweet of you,” she said.“I’m a little concerned,” Phil admitted. “She’s becoming more brazen about the innuendos she’s throwing around.”“I know,” Hailey agreed with a sigh. “Maybe one of your friends would like a little action this. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to givethis thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.Am I wrong?So, there I sat! in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.The directions said that:a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; anda three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.I'm sitting there.
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