You weren’t a fool. I wanted to be with you when we weren’t having sex. I thought about you during the day. I even had little daydreams about our being together, having kids, the whole nine yards. Me.’ I shook my head. I’d said ‘me’ ruefully enough to make it believable. We sat for a few minutes not looking directly at one another. I was waiting for her to ask the obvious question, and finally she got around to it. ‘If you cared for me so much, why did you do that with Justine?’ ‘Because I’m a monster.’ ‘What do you mean?’ What do I mean? I don’t know how to tell you. The words come out all knotted. I can’t say them straight. It used to be easy with you. ‘It means I’m bad news. It means I wanted to, and I could, so I did it. I loved you, and I still did it. You wouldn’t do what I wanted, and Justine would. She seemed to like it. But I probably would have done it with her even if you did like it. I like variety, too, and she was someone new. I always do that. Always! There were others. Ava is still wearing the hospital’s patient gown and nothing beneath. It is one large sheet of baby-blue fabric with two loose short sleeves, wrapped around Ava, covering the front of her body. The ends of the sheet are held together at her back by two pairs of strings which are tied together in a knot just like shoe-laces. One knot at her neck and another one at the center of her back. Below that there aren’t any knots; just a long slit until the fabric ends at her knees. Hospitals use these gowns because they are much easier to put on compared to normal clothes and the open back design allows easy access to the patient, especially handy when washing the patient or when having to use the bed pan.“I’ve installed a holder for your computer tablet here, you can swing it over. Voice control is activated too. You’ll be able to catch up with your university course and you can connect the tablet via Wi-Fi to the large TV on the wall opposite your bed if you want to watch a movie. Lucky.
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