The conversation that followed changed everything for us. I calmed down and while I had looked at her computer, clearly the biggest violation in the marriage had been on her part. “You fucked another man in Seattle?” “Obviously. You just saw it.” she said stone cold. I gathered up enough courage to ask what I didn't want to know. “Have you done this before?” I asked. “Yes, but not many.” “This is my fault.” I said. “I'm actually glad you saw that and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much because I'm tired of hiding it.” Perhaps it was the vulnerability of the situation that allowed us to skip past the bullshit and get right into how to make things right. “What do we do?” I asked. “The choice is yours dear. I'm not leaving you, but I'm not going to stop either. In fact, now that you know, I probably will do it more. Whether or not you leave me, accept this and pretend to ignore it or find a way to participate is up to you, but I'm tired of being the sexless housewife and I like the. Carla would not hear of going to a formal hospice, she wanted to be with her family. I knew that Beverly meant just as much to her as I did, and I didn’t mind. Beverly had baby duty last night, so I was sitting with my love Carla. She slept a lot, mostly I was just with her. ‘Ken,’ she said. ‘I don’t know how much longer I’ve got. You know I love you totally.’ ‘I know, honey, I know. I love you too.’ She closed her eyes, and for a minute I thought she would fall back asleep. ‘Ken. I left a letter in the lockbox, with what I want for … arrangements. You don’t need to look at it until… after. ‘ She sighed. ‘I left a letter for Rita Joan too, for when she is 18, so she knows her mommy loved her enough to give her life for her. I’m glad you have little Rita Joan. You have someone to love, and I have someone as a legacy.’ ‘Ken, this is very important.’ ‘I’m listening.’ ‘You not only have little Rita Joan, you have Beverly. I’m so glad you have Beverly. When I’m gone, you won’t be alone.’.
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