He kept a thesaurus near at hand so he could avoid using the same descriptive terms over and over again; something he saw in so many of the other stories on the web site. And the overuse of the past perfect tense, he found irritating.Sometimes he found himself getting too wordy, stuffing details into the story that didn't really add anything worth reading. He'd go back and strike out whole paragraphs to tighten it up. The short story genre was what he preferred, stories that could be read at bedtime in a half hour to an hour. If his sex scenes could stimulate a little action, either solo or shared, so much the better, because that meant he was doing it right.Then his writing got a big boost. Errol e-mailed him and offered to proofread his stuff before he posted it. He said he could spot the typos and offer suggestions about different directions the story could go. He had a sharp eye, and he'd pay particular attention to continuity issues.Of course, Luke took him up on his offer. He. Two of the three they shot were dead before they hit the ground and the third was not going to last very long. The three that were left almost beat the dead goons to the ground and started to crawl away. One shouted toward the right; after a moment shouted again; then turned toward the left and shouted again.I did not know what Ken-Gi was doing but when the girls fired I attacked the four goons that were moving through the trees trying to get behind the ranch house. I knifed the first goon under his arm my blade struck his heart and he was dead as I dropped him to the ground. The second heard me {I must be getting old and sloppy} so I had to slash his throat and throw my knife into the third goon's chest. I close lined the fourth knocking us both to the ground. I roundhouse rolled and kicked his legs out from under him as he tried to flip kick back to his feet. I followed through with a kick to his throat and just barely stopped the third goon from stabbing me with my own knife. He.
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