Miss Johnson told me in front of all the girls that I'd have amuch better view inside the building. "Aren't those costumes justadorable?" she said. Like she was reading my mind. She was talking to me,but my mind was elsewhere. What is mother going to say? How can I explainwhy I was looking in the window? I was supposed to be at baseballpractice, but I hate that game. Father wanted me to play baseball, Motheralways told me. He was so into the Yankees and Red Sox. I couldn't careless about baseball. "They'll be wearing floral wrap-around skirts for the recital, you know."Miss Johnson was talking to me while watching the girls and theirmovements. "Position three now, girls." I was thinking of a yellow leotard for the recital, more springtimecolors, what do you think?" She's asking me? Like how should I know? Five more minutes and Mother isgoing to walk through that door. "Yes, yellow is a springtime color, andI'm sure the girls would look pretty in yellow," I said, just makingsmall. But I was lying in bed, sleeping, snoring even. I was more drunk than I’ve ever been in my life, and so I was oblivious of the greater storm that was still to come.I dreamed about being on a ship. On a ship on the stormy sea. The ship was navigating the roaring ocean with its unclear deeps, trying desperately to stay clear of its many cliffs. The waves were shaking me up and down, back and forth, in an ever increasing frequency, until they were shaking me so hard that it started to hurt.In my dream, I saw my ship heading towards a cliff. It was chalk white against a sky black with clouds, hard, and seemed to reach into the lightning-lit outlines of the heavens.The ship crashed against the cliff.I woke up, still slow in my mind and way to drunk.But strangely, I could still feel the waves rocking back and forth my ship.I saw a face hoovering over me. It was as white against the dark room as the cliffs in my dreams, illuminated by the same lightning. The face of my older.
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