.I didn't really know what the hell kind of degree I'd wind up with someday. But that didn't really matter to me. Not the way my sister matters.If I jogged the whole way home from NSCC, I could be waiting at the curb as the mailman drove up in front of our little house in his rotting Jeep with the steering wheel on the wrong side.When I run like that in the summer the sweat drips off me. But this was winter. A deep inhalation of frigid air felt like a thousand tiny daggers flying into my lungs. A gasping exhaled breath would spout a huge cloud of steam into the air. I'd futilely flap my arms for warmth while eyeing the cancerous orange rust reaching inexorably up the Jeep's sides and into its guts.The mailman probably didn't give a rip about the rust - the sooner the engine fell out, the sooner he'd get a newer rig with a newer heater. You need a good heater to survive driving around Syracuse in winter while the salt dumped on the roads relentlessly chews away at the metal around. I felt a small trigger of shame in the back of my head when our eyes made contact.“I slept ok thanks.” I replied as I moved my eyes back to the water. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say or get me to say, so I just ignored it and continued onto my banana. “I’m sorry I didn’t get next to you in bed when we arrived back. I needed some time to myself and I wasn’t going to trust myself next to you.” He said. “What do you mean not going to trust yourself next to me?” I half asked curious yet a little shocked at the statement. He quickly got up and started walking towards the fire pit we made.“Wait! Come back!” I yelled and tried to turn my torso to look at him. He ignored me and continued walking. I was starting to feel irritated at him. Why say something like that and then just pretend I don’t exist? I was struggling to get to my feet and follow him, when he entered the forest. I knew it would be better to just leave him alone, but at the same time I wanted to know what was up with.
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