Lance held him, marvelling at how fragile hesuddenly seemed, hugging him through the worst of the night, sharingthe pain, until sleep finally took them both.*When Lance woke he was alone in the bed. He remembered the feeling ofTony lying in his embrace and had to confess it was a good memory. Evenadmitting that to himself was a bit scary.He got up and found Tony on the sofa watching Sunday morning TV. He wasstill clearly going through the wringer but it seemed less acutelypainful than the previous night. Lance flopped down next to him.'Morning.''Morning,' said Tom. His voice was definitely softer and higher. Helooked away awkwardly. 'Look, about last night...''Yeah,' Lance squirmed himself. 'Sorry, I -''I was going to say sorry to you,' Tony said with a weak smile. 'And ?thank-you.'Lance shrugged. 'I didn't know what else to do.' There was a pause.'How are you doing?''Trust me, you don't want the gory details,' Tony said. 'But... I'm,ah, shaping up, down there. Next day or so, maybe. Tomorrow was Saturday. I'd talk to her firstthing. We'd get this straightened out. I took a shower and slipped intomy yellow satin pajamas. I lay in bed, thinking, my mind a confusion ofthoughts that chased me across landscapes I feared to tread. This was ourfirst fight. I didn't know how Natasha handled these sorts of things.Would she stay angry? Could I even get her to listen to me? Could I everheal the hurt I'd done her, even though I hadn't been the cause? I tossedand turned. I tried meditating but my mind refused to settle. What if Ilost her? She was the most important thing in my life. I was desperatelyin love with her. I'd do anything to make things better. I went through abox of Kleenex, filling a wastebasket with my fears. The clock hardlyseemed to budge, the minutes longer than I'd ever known them to be. Hourswere an age. The last I remembered checking, it was past 4 AM.I awoke to the angry demands of my cell phone. My hands were clumsyblocks of granite, and I fumbled the.
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