Michael Angelo. That was his name. The moment I saw him, I felt different than I did when other handsome men caught my attention. I wanted to be close to him, be his friend, and, if fate allowed, be his. Here I was, caught off guard, pouring my heart out even before I even spoke a single word to him. Finally, I caught myself and choked those raging feelings, telling myself that he wouldn’t even notice me anyway and that he was most likely straight. But little did I know that what I felt was almost impossible to extinguish.Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Mico (as his friends called him), kept popping up everywhere - at the corner of the hall, by the street waiting for a cab, and even worse, in the same classroom as me. I tried my best to ignore him, but it was useless. I was steadily falling for him. One day, I finally got the courage up to approach him.“Um…hi.”“Hey.”“I…um…I was just wondering. Do you…do you want to…”“Want to what?”He chuckled as a smile grew. Then I became aware, like waking from a bad dream, that I was crying, sobbing really, and that I’d wet myself. The residue of that event, like a sigh from the sewers, stayed with me. I can smell the stink of it now. Of course insomnia and paranoia followed in its wake. I tried to convince myself that I’d seen a fox, a cat, anything other than that awful fucking thing … Every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep I’d see it again, I’d see that grinning, evil countenance, and feel the sadness that its filthy, contaminated contact with my brain caused. Whatever it did inside my head — whether it fed somehow and that I nourished it in some way, or even if it was just fucking with me for its own perverse enjoyment — it left something with me. I know something of its intent. Not that I can articulate what I mean, it’s just a feeling, or maybe an intuition, but whatever I know or feel it’s a gift from the monster, a cancer, and I’ve no doubt it’ll kill me. And what I mean by that is that.
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