All that fuss over a small piece of meat and a steak tenderiser. Really. As for the endlessly repeated suggestion that I am a man hater, well that is utter pish and nonsense. There is only one man I hate, and if you woke each morning next to his porcine snuffling, grunting and God awful scratching I'm sure you'd hate him too. Thankfully this week's letter is from a small, insignificant piece of punctuation (bet you didn't see that cumming) and I've already girded my loins in anticipation of all the 'Grammer Nazis' complaints. So without any further ado: Dear Cum,Please, please help. I am at my wit's end, and you're my last hope, in fact, my only hope.You may recall how I was once so rudely used, or is that abused by the gothic nerd and pushed, stuffed, rubbed in that fucking smelly hole that masquerades as her vagina - she calls it her snatch these days. Well, I can tell you it does snatch and then never lets you out!Due to the continued lockdown and this working from home shit, her. “I went for a coffee,” said Sophie. “I bumped into Tessa and Tarryn, and we got to talking, about sex of course.”“Yeah, and we decided we should all come over and give you a treat,” interjected Tessa excitedly.“We want to play for you,” said Tarryn, her eyes lit up with excitement.“Play?” I asked with a smile. “You mean like ping pong or something?”“No, silly,” said Sophie, trying to look serious. “Masturbate for you. All three of us.”“Oh my!” I exclaimed, waves of tingles washing over me. “That would be an amazing treat. And so special. Oh my, I love you all.”“We love you too,” asserted Tessa with an intense look of arousal in her eyes, as if authorised to speak on behalf of the other two.Then they surprised me; they endorsed Tessa’s assertion with a nod of their heads.I smiled up over the top of my head at that moment. Never has a human being been happier.“So,” said Sophie. “This game has rules, well one rule. The rule is nobody can touch anyone else, but otherwise, anything.
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