They stood there with their own jaws agape asif they feared I'd turn my attention on them next. "Billy, if I ever hear you say anything like that again I'm going to killyou." A quick look of terror danced across his face. I was ashamed andembarrassed by my own behavior. My stomach was churning. I was violentlyill. I quickly jumped off of him, grabbed my guitar and began walkingaway. None of them made a sound in my wake.When I'd walked far enough, when I turned around and saw nothing butfaint lights behind me, when I heard nothing but the sound of thecrashing surf surround me, I sat down and wept. Had I really justthreatened to kill someone? At the time I'd said those words, I meantthem. Still, having calmed down, could I actually do something like that?I wasn't sure one way or the other. I only hoped that my message hadgotten through.His words of torment chewed at my being. Had he really made love to Sam?When could he have done that? The night that he admitted kissing him?Had they. . exchanging ideas ... talking about thorny issues.”“No,” she said, warily.“How about hugs?”“No.”“Not even if you press your body against him?”Her eyes narrowed. This wasn’t fair, somehow.“Where do you draw the line?” he asked. “What is it you can’t do until you’re married?”“Have sex!,” she said firmly.“Isn’t kissing and hugging and handholding part of having sex?” he asked.“Of course not,” she said.“But all those things ... when you do them ... they make you want to have sex. I mean it’s not quite that simple, because you don’t want to have sex with every person you kiss, but the whole point is that if you want to kiss them, and hold their hands, and hug them, and touch them ... that kind of relationship usually evolves to the point where you also want to make love with them. That can be part of making love, the way I see it.”“You’re confusing me,” she complained.“I’m not confusing you,” he said. “You’re confusing yourself. You believe things that don’t make sense from my point of.
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