You'll see, your body won't let you." Hans had to be wrong. My body didn't control me. I knew that I could control those urges. I'd just get used to the idea of handling those things myself. It was a lot easier, and no one got all upset by it. Girls were nothing but problems. What I really wanted, needed in fact, was a friend. Someone I could talk to, and who could help me to understand how things worked. I was tired of not understanding what was expected of me. I'd gotten such a slow start, I needed to catch up. Not with sex, but with friendships, and with knowing why people did the things they did. With all the things going on in my life right then, the last thing I wanted, or needed, was another emotional entanglement.At dinner, I asked Dad if he minded if I took off the next day because I wanted to get in a round of golf with a new friend I'd made at the golf course. Mama asked me my new friends name. When I told her that her name was Shirley, she and Dad shared one of those. ’ I said ‘so what are we waiting for…and why didn’t we go there first?’ She smiled and leaned close again to whisper in my ear ‘Because I wanted to make sure that you were at least half normal before I invited you into my house.’ The taxi rank was normally a couple of minutes walk away from where we were, but it took more than five minutes, we stopped to kiss every few hundred yards. Lorraine said ‘I feel like a teenager on a first date.’ We fell into the first taxi in the rank, she gave the driver her address and then she was on me, lips pressed against mine, hands inside my jacket, on my chest and rubbing up to my shoulders, almost pushing my jacket off. I put my right hand up to the side of her neck and slid my fingers round the back, my thumb gently pressing on the area just behind her ear, and pulled her toward me to kiss her more firmly and push my tongue into her mouth and entwine it with hers. She shivered slightly then pulled her lips away from mine, our foreheads pressed.
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