That’s where my true jealousy lies.I began to get jealous of all the times you didn’t text. All the words you couldn’t say because other people may hear. All the times you couldn’t get free to see me, leaving me awkward and alone. Jealous when I ask about your day or night, and she is mentioned. The worst type of jealousy is when you are just happy. You have no reason to be happy, and I am jealous because how on earth could you be happy without me? Jealousy that leads to anger and then eventually apathy.A little jealousy goes a very long way. Just enough to make you hard, ready and eager to replace whatever thoughts I’m having with thoughts of you. Not enough to force me to fuck a stranger in a public restroom just because you couldn’t be there with me.As a self-proclaimed mistress, I forced myself to deal with this feeling. At first, I decided to be open with you and fully admit when you made me jealous. I remember the soul-crushing night that you deadass stopped talking to me,. We had each just had our birthdays and I really never expected Cheryl to agree to go out with me but she was so pretty, I just didn't care, I asked her.So, we had been dating several months, paying particular attention to her parent's restrictions on how often she could date and how late she could stay out. It wasn't so much that her parents were extremely strict, it was because they came home early and walked in on Cheryl and her previous boyfriend on the family room floor, naked doing sixty-nine. I cringe to think what it must have been like.Any way, that boyfriend was banished forever and it looked like I passed the parental approval tests and we were dating. Most of it involved me coming over to her house and watching TV with Cheryl and her family.We had managed to have sex a few times. She was not on the pill, something that I think I would have done if she had been my daughter, and, so, I carried several condoms with me so if the occasion arose, I was ready.One weekend, her.
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