John, you have never done anything to try to make me jealous. You have been faithful to me from day one. Hell, when Trish threw herself at you, you ignored it. When Tracy practically begged you to fuck her, you gently set her straight. You're a saint." I'm not. It's just that I committed to you the first night. I admit I find other women exciting, but I don't cheat." I know you don't and neither do I." Why Susan?" I felt her pain. Her ex-husband had hurt her. She hasn't even gone out on dates. I felt a connection with her. I noticed your hard-on when you left the room. Things just happened. By the way, I loved the way you made love to Lena last night. She really loves you." I've fallen in love with her too. I know I love you more and deeper, but I'd be hurt if something happened to her."We kissed again. I guided her to the shower and we stepped in. We were drying off when Susan came to the open bathroom door."I guess last night wasn't a dream?" Susan asked."It was dreamy, but it. .." I mean, I know how it was like with Jane," she said. "And... It's your Program week and all that. So, I guess, I was just wondering."I said, "No, Meredith, I don't want to have sex with you."She smirked. "Riiiight."Watch him dig himself deeper, folks! "Okay, more accurately. I do wanna have sex with you, but there's other things I wanna do with you more than I want that. I like being around you. I like talking to you. I like just holding you. And sex is... Well, I mean, it's sex, it's cool. But not if it means forfeiting that other stuff. I want the other stuff. If I just wanted sex, I'd have taken more advantage of The Program. I didn't. I don't want that. I want..." Deep breath, try not to sound overly sappy or outrageous, ignore just how many lines you may be stepping over: "I want you."She stood up and flowed into my arms. "Well, you've got me." And she rested her head on my shoulder and we stood there for a long moment, feeling only the dual rise and fall of our synchronized.
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