I really thought that I'd hit bottom about all of this yesterday, but here it was again only worse. There was no way I'd ever get her back. It was like someone had just backed up a dump truck full of concrete, and then just dropped the whole load on me. I fell to my knees and just sobbed.Every emotion I'd ever felt just oozed out of me, it was the most desolate sadness I'd ever experienced. Time had no meaning, I was overcome. I'd heard people talk about wanting to die when a loved one passed or left them, and I now knew how that felt. It was as if everything moved in slow motion, every action, every thought required my consent, and I couldn't see a reason for any of it. Should I breathe in? Why? Why shouldn't I just stop breathing and let go of the pain. If I died maybe she'd understand why I just gave up on life and feel sorry. Maybe everything would start over again and she'd never hurt me like this again. Maybe she was just a cold hearted snake, who had never loved me and never. "Jesus! Watch it!" "Oh, sorry, Bill," Kris apologized, sitting up, but still chuckling softly. The rough-housing came to an end. Bri retreated back to her room to shower, pack, and get ready. We didn't get on the road until almost eleven o'clock. Five hours in an old Mercedes with three girls and seven suitcases. The girls paid for gas and lunch at a Panera Bread in a little Missouri college town not unlike Clinton City. I'd spent hours the previous night compiling a playlist for the trip. My taste in music still drew complaints from Bri and Kris, but I peppered the playlist with songs I knew they'd enjoy, like Brown Eyed Girl or Tainted Love (the latter inspired a shouty sing-along from the back seat). After we crossed into Iowa, I turned off the interstate, and onto a two-lane highway, passing through a number of tiny reduced-speed communities. At one of these single-stop-light towns, we turned onto a main street consisting of a bank and a bar on one side, and a gas station, a.
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