With a regular size guy." So," I said, smiling to let her know I was kidding, "you think I've got a little dick?" No, no!" she said. "I just..." Take it easy," I said. "I'm just kidding. I'm not some teenager worried about the size of my equipment. It's always been big enough. I know there are guys bigger, but, so what? Nobody's every complained. Besides, you might be surprised." So, it's okay?" Brenda asked. "You're not disappointed or..." Hell, no" I said."Have you ever... ?" Yeah," I said, "a few times. Enough to know what I'm doing. If that's what you want, I'd be happy to oblige. In fact, it would be my pleasure."Brenda gave me a shy smile, so unlike her original behavior. It dawned on me that this whole thing had been more her idea than mine, and that I had just been the lucky guy at the right place and time. She was looking for someone, and if I hadn't come along she would no doubt have found someone else.But, I told myself, what did I care? The end result -- no pun intended. Your daughter, your wife, they are… of course you will all undergo… as all alien abductees must undergo… try to not fret much. It actually ends up a really--”“Undergo? Undergo? What must we undergo?”The extraterrestrial guard tightened his lip and sought to restore his original stoic bearing. But the earthling specimen did not cease his passionate questions.“Orifice probes,” the extraterrestrial guard hissed at last betwixt clenched teeth. “I do not agree with all of it but I am only a lowly guard. Regulations strictly prohibit me from discoursing with you. But no specimen is ever harmed. Not irreparably.”As though never hearing of a regulation that prohibited guards from speaking to specimens, this Extraterrestrial Guard added, “I swear, of all the planets I have traveled and of all the inhabitants I have encountered, you of the earth, you earthlings, really are the most… the most… no other sentient beings complicate things more than you earthlings.”“Orifice probes? What… what do.
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