He would come out of his office to be with us. He was patient with us, but I knew that he needed to be working on his programs. He'd listen to us, but glance back at his office anxiously. No matter what, he put us first."I kept thinking that he was there for us when he'd rather be doing something else. He cared. Where were you? You weren't there. I felt that meant you didn't care. I've always known that you like David and Rose more than me. If you didn't care enough to be there for them, I had to wonder how you felt about me. I wanted to ask you, but you weren't there."Lisa fell silent for a minute. Looking away from the camera, she said, "Even when you were home, you weren't there. It always about your job, your trip, and your problems. I would start to tell you something and you would dismiss me. Once, you even told me to schedule an appointment. I couldn't figure out if you were joking or not."I remember a time when I was about nine years old. I was supposed to sell scout cookies. Actually, I open an eye only to close it back immediately. That’s because I’d rather manage the orange behind my eyelids than the intense brightness of the sun. Kind of aching. Too early to deal with my senses, it seems.“Oh well, good morning to you, darling. And to your lovely elbow,” yawns my man. “Can you feel my morning wood, eh?”Of course I can. Spoon sleeping has its ups and downs. I love to rest in his arms, to sense his warmth on my back and allow my shoulder being stroked by his breath. Hours later, I may get a numb arm or the aforementioned wood poking between my thighs. Biological reflexes and automations. Until it sticks closer and closer to my rosebud. Pressing against the sphincter with a determination to enter. Which, I can tell, is the most conscious movement he pretends to ‘not’ do. Time to wake up and move my cute butt out of the car.We decided to park our Sharan late at night, close enough to hear the sea. We’ve left early after noon for the weekend. I wished to.
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