My (I'm sure) WONDERFUL aunt Jackie was the first taker, so here we are heading to some God forsaken town in Ohio to enjoy our summer. At least we were both left with some serious cash to enjoy. Anyway, Melissa and I are sitting in the plane terminal waiting for our plane to arrive. My parents already left on their plane for the Bahamas and we have an hour or so with nothing to do. Melissa sitting next to me listening to music on her I-Pod, looking as tomboyish as always in her baggy jeans and t-shirt, with a baseball cap. Let me give you a little background on Melissa and I. Our parents are hippies, basically, and are rather scrawny and pathetic.Unfortunately, Melissa and I share their genes. We're both about 5'6", skinny and un-athletic. Melissa tends to behave like a guy because she is not developed, and quite frankly doesn't want to be.I, on the other hand, while sharing similar physical characteristics; I like being clean and neat. A lot of people always said that. I never partied unless I felt it was essential for the business I was trying to get done, in which case I would get black out drunk and wake up two days later in an Upper East Side couple’s dog crate or something like that. Classic business stuff. Right after graduation I got hired at a company in Midtown called IBM to do what I do best: business.Ever since then I’ve been working nonstop for IBM. Sometimes I find myself having ridiculous thoughts like The initials IBM remind me of IBS which is funny because I work at IBM and I have IBS or Maybe I’ll take the weekend off and try hot yoga or Even though Kristen from Human Resources has small boobs I still think she’s pretty or I miss my parents I should give them a call or I’d like to take a ceramics class or I think I believe in a Higher Power or Marc Maron’s podcast is really relatable or I don’t know if I like Howard Stern. These thoughts are shameful and I hate them. If I have these thoughts too many times in one day while I’m at.
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