I see her beauty - the beauty I don't have. I see his desire for her - that he didn't have for me. These are the thoughts that haunt someone who had a loved one cheat. You believe you are less than.Snap out of it, Kimmi. You will show him!And so I venture out again to prove to myself I am beautiful and desirable. I desperately crave to be told I am beautiful now. I need that as much as I need the air I am breathing. I have a hole that must be filled. Only a hard fuck will fill it. I need a man to tell me I am attractive to feel attractive. I need a man to tell me I am desirable to feel desirable. I can't get over this pain any other way. A good fuck will heal everything fucked up inside me. I find Mr. Fix-It at the bar. Let's see. First, is he more attractive than Mr. Brown Eyes? Yes, he is. Ha! Take that, cheater! Look what I snagged! Here is the test - what color eyes does he have? Green. Yes! His fucking eyes are green. He leads me to the dance floor and I can do this. I took some. He was relieved to see Saul swing up on the Sorrel's back and light up a cheroot that had a pungent scent of wild cherry and bitter acrid smoke. The girls over at the house of pleasure were all lined up waving "goodbye" to the handsome young cowboy and Sam could see that Saul was embarrassed at the attention but the gleam in his eye showed he was eating it up like a bowl of peaches sitting in their own juice.Sam felt like a weight had been lifted off his back when he saw Saul's horse disappear over the top of the rise on the way out of town. There was no doubt in his mind that all hell was going to break loose around here just as soon as the Texas Cattle Consortium started putting the screws to the sheepherders to drive them from the valley and the grazing land that was coveted by the recently widowed Belinda Roseberry for the fattening up of the steers being moved in from the Texas plains.He rounded up Blackie Barstow and his group of gun-toting hard-cases to go with him to the.
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