16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.And the winners are:1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle, n. A. There she was in my bed asleep. I pulled the sheet back and she was naked with her hair still wet. I slid into bed naked and pulled the sheet up. She smelled of shampoo and soap as I spooned my body up close and put my arm around her. She snuggled her butt back against me and I fell asleep with my hand cupping her right breast.My alarm is on her side and when it went off, I reached across her to turn it off.“Good morning, sexy Outlaw. Are you and Brandy running this morning?” she said as she stretched her arms over her head and turned to face me.“Yes, Ben and Em are joining us this morning. Want to go run with us? We start out with a fast warmup of Taekwondo reps.”“You don’t mind if I run with you? I’m not as fast as you are.”“I’d love for my beautiful, sexy sister to start running with us. We don’t run all out on every lap. We run hard then run slow for a lap or two, then run hard again.”“What does Brandy wear?”“Her sports bra, a T-shirt under her sweat shirt and her shorts.”“I’ll.
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