It had to be.My body trembled as I slipped the dress off its padded hanger. I held itup against my skin, staring at myself in the mirror. I knew there was noturning back from here. I turned away from the mirror and slowly, gently,unzipped the back down to the waist and held the dress out in front ofme. I was unsure of whether to step into it and pull it up, like a pairof pants, or to pull it down over my head like a shirt. I didn't want todo anything wrong, for fear that it wouldn't work. I decided to step intoit, since it was a one-shoulder gown, and I wasn't sure I'd be able tosqueeze the whole thing down past both shoulders without tearing it.The fabric felt incredible against my legs, like nothing I'd ever wornbefore. The robes I'd worn when my parents forced me to join the churchchoir were soft and shiny too, but I'd always worn them atop a cottonshirt and pants. Because we left them at the church each week, I nevergot the chance to wear them without my regular clothes, but I'd. Mysniffling is the prompt for Kevin to look up at me from his nearfinished meal."God!" He says but dispassionately. "What's up with you? Is that whyyou're asking? Has your period started?" No," I weep. "I don't think so." What then?" He's impatient."Because all I seem to be able to do is make you mad." I know I soundpitiful as I say it, but I'm not sure I can stop. "I am trying, but Ican't seem to do anything right. And just when I think you're startingto be nice to me, you turn around and are more beastly than everbefore." And why do you think that is?" he hisses."I honestly don't know." I try to stop whimpering, but I can't."Perhaps it's because you're doing such a crap job at passing yourselfoff as a woman." How do you mean?" I ask, puzzled. "Do you mean appearance? Like hairand make-up and clothes and stuff? I'm trying to adapt. But it's reallycomplicated. You could help me." No one helped me adapt to being a man." But it's incomparable. All you have to do is remember not to get.
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