That suits me just fine. The last thing I want now is company. Even the presence of strangers is more than bothersome. I glance to either side with bowed head. I see pedestrians everywhere – children walking to school, housewives with strollers or puppies on leashes. Businesspeople hurry to their first appointments of the day. Each carries a sense of their own self-importance in conspicuous briefcases or laptops clasped tightly in clenched fists. Don’t dare disturb me. I feel my utter despondency radiate out towards them, driving them away. Good. I don’t want to see anybody smiling. I don’t want to hear them laughing. Or even see them going about their daily routines. Because, whatever their personal difficulties, I envy them. Do you know how lucky you are, just to have normalcy in your lives? I’d give anything to have that again. But you can’t help me. It’s been three days, do you hear? Three days and two very long fucking nights since the funeral. And I haven’t stopped crying.. Mike asked her if this was really about the money she could earn as a whore and a trip to Disney World.“No, Master. You heard Jerry. He said I was doing this because I like to fuck,” she laughed playfully and arched her back a little to match my position.Mike seemed apprehensive. He wanted Kim to really think about her reasons to submit to him. “This is real life. If you change your mind after you commit to me, I am not going to take it lightly,” Mike said. “A lot of people fantasize about a BDSM lifestyle. This is not fantasy, and a lot of it is going to be hard and even boring at times.”Kim apologized and said she was looking forward to it. I could tell to her this was all one big exciting adventure now. We were on the road in an R.V., and Jerry was behind her both metaphorically and literally.Mike picked up his phone and called my mom. He postponed our meeting for a full day. I overheard my mom say something about me always being late and how she expected this. She said she.
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