Ten minutes before the end of the Open House, I told my wife I was going next door as I wanted to see what our neighbor's house looked like on the inside and that I'd be back shortly. Having been inside their house before -- but not a lot -- my wife had no interest. I knew this and her pass was not a surprise. When I entered the neighbor's house, the realtor greeted me. Much to my surprise and disappointment, the realtor, Jenna, is a woman my wife knows socially in the town. Although not friends, they are acquaintances and I've met her before and seen her around town a time or two. "Hey there!" I greeted her. "I didn't know this was your listing," I declared with surprise in my voice."This isn't my listing. My friend has the listing and agreed to do the Open House today, but had to back out at the last minute because of some family issue. And the sellers had already planned to be gone, so, I'm helping her out." She replied."I see." I said. "Lynn and I live next door and I'm just. . Yes, ma’am, this IS the maternity hospital, but no. We don’t have any return policy.How can you tell if your gas station attendant used to be a porn star?When the gas starts coming out, he pulls out the nozzle, and sprays it on the windshield... You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali... I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After a while, I said to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead”.I have a friend who keeps ingesting helium. You should try it ... people speak very highly... Dear Hallmark:Roses are red, Violets are blue.Your cards are shit And your channel is, too.And the award for film of the year goes to: Cling.Cling Film.The difference between a nurse and a patient? Well, the nurse actually has a higher chance of leaving the hospital aliveלייקAnd so, 101 Dalmatians all fell asleep. Oh, wait, they’re ordinary.
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