"All three men rose to greet the two Texans, and they engaged in small talk for a few minutes, before getting down to business. Josh told them how many cattle he had and their general condition. He asked if any one man wanted the whole lot, or did they want to share the burden. The herd was larger than any one man wanted to commit for, so all three formed a simple buying cartel to take all that Josh had to offer. They dickered for a while before coming to a tentative price, based on the condition of the cattle when they were actually delivered. Since these were all longhorns, they did not fetch the best possible price, but Josh was happy, and Andy was flabbergasted at the amount of money involved. They were going home with over $3,000 for their cattle; no wonder there was so much interest in driving cattle to Sedalia to sell. Of course, this was the premium they got for being the first herd to arrive.A preliminary contract was drawn up and signed before the night was over. Josh stood. I’m smarter than you, stupid. We had a deal: I remind you every time you try to sit on your hands and pussy out. You sack up and DO something about it.And I do. Except with Dawn. Visit the old Berkeley house? Chickened out. Thanksgiving with the Evanses? Always an excuse to not be alone with her. I couldn’t open my mouth, couldn’t go through with starting a serious conversation, and nobody else could hamstring me like this, not even DJ. As strained as my relationship currently was with the youngest Evans sister, at least we had talked about our situation and told each other the truth about how we each felt. But every time I tried to do the same with Dawn, every time I thought about sitting down with her and talking out what we currently meant to each other, I froze, we got awkward, and one of us would make up an excuse to exit the conversation.It wasn’t about being spineless. It wasn’t that I was running away, postponing the inevitable discussion that would HAVE to eventually take.
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