I’m always glad to talk to management.Monique: “Yes, well, I guess we’ll see about that. As you know, our systems have been bogging down for several weeks now. Since you and your team weren’t able to identify the problem, I brought in an outside contractor to investigate.”Paul: You did? Without even telling me?Monique: “Well telling you would’ve defeated the purpose, wouldn’t it Paul? I mean, given that the whole problem was due to your running some sort of personal project on our servers that was eating up bandwidth like a glutton, I’m pretty sure the problem would’ve gotten hidden had you known about the outside investigator.”Paul: Well sure, but the projects done anyway so all the systems are back to normal. No harm no foul!Monique: “No harm no foul? You can’t be serious, Paul. You’ve cost this company thousands of dollars. And on a personal project.”Paul: Yes, Monique, but it’s a great personal project! Are you familiar with the hypothesis that the universe is a computer. ‘That was nice,’ I said to the night sky. ‘You liked it?’ She said. ‘Yeah, A lot.’ ‘Later then, you got to fuck me.’ That was a question, too. I made a face like when a favorite aunt gives you a sweater for Christmas. ‘That is a deal,’ I said. She patted my thigh three pats and then walked back into the bar ahead of me so her boyfriend, maybe ex, maybe not, sort of thing, wouldn’t see us together. I finished my smoke and then went back to the bar. I sat alongside the rail at a small two person table far enough away from the dance floor and the music so that a conversation might actually be possible. I sat alone. The waitress brought me a scotch. I thanked her and tipped her and she let her breast brush against my shoulder on her way past me toward the next customer. I leaned over and followed the motion away from me. When I looked back up there was an old man sitting at my table. He was maybe five feet tall. Bald, wrinkled all over with white wire eyebrows that shot straight out.
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