I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw. And then your lips touching mine, feeding my feelings with yours, letting me taste your desire and letting you taste mine. Feelings spin together like a tornado, pulling all senses into one giant whirl, completely one, sweeping everything else aside with unrestrained power, the most powerful energy in the world in a sweet kiss. How could it get stronger? And yet it does. As strong as the sun. No, two suns colliding, exploding but never spreading out. Always in, intertwining energy and heat and passion into one giant massive star, enmeshed too tightly to find where one sun and the other differ. That's what making love creates out of pure love. A complete and unbreakable bond no one can touch and everyone feels awed. But I don't care what they think. I care only about becoming one with you. I always have, though I only knew what that meant recently. My parents' bond has that magnitude."I almost said her mom was a lesbian who needed to be coaxed into enjoying her father through another.
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