Iris dropped to the floor and shared a snowball with Shelly.Watching Art's cheerful collapse, Carol opined, "Curt, my love, we have challenges before us. It's not only that a hard man is good to find, but that it's hard to find a hard man that's good. Don't you have some suitable friends?" I know available men who are jerks. I know fine men who are monogamous. Those that fit between are more difficult to find, but believe me, I'm searching my mind."The phone rang, and Cathy called to say she was on her way. Carol advised her, "Think social in and out of bed, but also think of taking electronics while you do it."When she entered, the trio on the far couch was catching their breath. Carol had brought robes to them. Cathy gave them a friendly wave. Apparently, we were developing our own etiquette.I certainly took a moment to admire Cathy, who apparently was spending more and more time with the custom leather store. She wore more and more leather, but not necessarily the stereotyped. Chubby bumble bees and butterflies flit around the walls and up toward the high ceilings, dancing over five flowers with faces. The faces are labeled, ‘Mommy, Daddy.’ There are also flowers for the baby and each of the two dogs. Every flower has a small, framed picture, every flower except the ‘Mommy’ flower. I finally had to take that picture down last week. It’s not only the bedroom. Everything in the house is exactly as his wife left it. In many ways, she never left at all. She is still here and I feel her every day. Everywhere I move in this house, I feel the evidence of a life — a wedding, a baby, a sweet little cabin in the mountains, years spend in constant company. I feel footsteps that are far too broad and deep for me to fill. Up until a few days ago, her clothes still hung in the closet. The dresser on her side of the bed holds half-finished projects, blank scrapbook pages, journals and photos. I do not move anything. I dust over her books, I wipe the baby’s little toys.
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