What has the United States of America done for us? Not much. Of course, fifty years ago, they liberated us from the oppression of the Nazis. Then less than ten years ago after persevering — often alone — for nearly 40 years more and after spending hundreds of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of American lives, they defeated the Evil Empire.“But what have they done for us lately?” He smiled as he continued, “Well, I’ll tell you what they did — or more accurately, what a single American did — affecting us here tonight. As you know, this gala is being held to benefit children left orphaned by the Soviet occupation.“First, I want to tip my hat to the wisest member of the government, the Home Minister’s ... secretary, Paula Wilhelm. While the rest of us were fearful about charging 2,500 crowns per ticket, she was fighting for a price of 25,000! After being dragged, kicking and screaming, she finally gave in at a price of 5,000 crowns.”He grinned and continued, “She did it to save. There weren't, so I twisted the mirror so that I could see my face andthen took the time to freshen my lipstick and light another cigarette.When I looked up there in a car setting directly in front of me, andlooking right at me, sat Carla and her sister Cathy.Carla runs the beauty shop in our town, and knows everybody. Her sisterworks at the bank and does nails in Carla's shop. She is the towngossip and is called "Chatty Cathy" by almost everyone. Carla honkedher horn and pointed at me with a big grin on her face. Cathy had herhand at her mouth and was laughing hysterically I stepped on the gasand sped past the two of them. My heart was in my throat; I didn't knowwhat I was going to do. She clearly had seen me, and she knew who Iwas.When I got home I got rid of my nail polish, polish remover, lipstick,and cigarettes. The only thing I could think to do if my wife ever saidanything to me was to deny, deny, deny. Then about three days later Igot a call at work. It was Carla. She told me.
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