I can't really describe how embarrassing it was to have her constantly talking about how she would one day be my brother, and I her sister. She'd spend hours dreaming out loud to our Mom and Dad that she was looking forward to being their son again, and how much I was looking forward to being their daughter. "That's nice, dear, " my Mom would say. To me and Clare, that was a signed contract short of permission. When my friends came to visit, she'd tease me by telling them that I was a girl, and that she was a boy, and I'd tricked her into trading places when we started school. She'd start putting on a performance, telling them that she was going to reclaim her male identity, forcing me back into the life of girlhood I had only escaped by inflicting it on my 'brother'. My friends used to scream with laughter at all this, not only because Clare was clearly crazy, but that I used to just sit on my butt doing nothing about it, blushing. This carried on way beyond the point at. We talked about sex, but mostly about the weirdness of fucking your own family. What was especially cool was that Chris didn’t react like Matt or Emily, who thought it was totally great. Chris saw that it could also be really fucked up. He thought about things; he didn’t just charge in dick first. Then, once we got the obvious thing out of the way, we started talking about normal stuff. I was just starting to figure out that I wasn’t all that into guys, but I knew that if I were, I’d be all over Chris. I thought I should want to fuck Chris just because he was a studmuffin. But while he could scratch an itch, I knew even then that he couldn’t really fulfill my desires, which were really for his mom. Like I said, I was ambivalent.Chris told me about his girlfriend, and it was obvious that he was totally into her. That was another cool thing. That meant that while we might fool around some, he wouldn’t be hanging around me always trying to get some. Then we started talking about school.
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