I was me, though, who decided to throw everything like college up in the air for a half-promise for a life with a guy that had every chance to fall through, and did. I did take some precautions, though. I made a few changes to my face—make-up could be so wonderful—and then headed for the town that was right next door, and not really acknowledged.It'd been an early shooting day. We nailed things with one take, and ran out of material. Oh, not the script, but the sets that we needed. We got out of there by 6:00 p.m. We all scattered to our apartments to do important things like sleep.When I got to my apartment my phone was ringing. Thinking it was a call back (the usual reason for phone calls), I grabbed it. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was Mom."We were thinking of coming down and visiting you," she said after the usual pleasantries."Staying in town?" No," she laughed, "we were looking at hotel on the coast, not too far from the airport."I felt another moment of. And, I want somebody to smack me in the head if I am ever associated with one of those mere lists of names and contortions occasionally punctuated with sentence-long ‘OOOOOOOOOOOHH’ orgasmic moans. You see, this is exactly the kind of thing I’d want to say to somebody on ‘the outside,’ if only I could. I take what I write seriously, but not TOO seriously. I can always say ‘it’s just porn,’ but I also see it as an interesting and dynamic artistic challenge. Real eroticism requires real drama. Real interactions require real characters. These damn things have to be worth reading even WITHOUT all the sex. And yet, if my readers aren’t unzipping themselves after two pages, they’re not happy and I’ve failed at my job. I’ve got certain mandates to fulfill, and a certain space to do it in. Can I do that while keeping it fresh and original and worthwhile? I’d like to think so. It’s a creative project. It’s an adventure and an exploration, and an expression of myself, just like any other part.
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