She tilted her head toward the bathroom door, and we walked out and through my apartment, toward the door. “Ever do anything with her?” I asked.She whirled around and looked me in the eye. “As a matter of fact,” she said, smirking. “Yvonne was married for a few months,” she explained, “and after it ended she decided she liked women. It was a little more involved than that, of course. To this day I don’t know if her marriage ended because she decided she was gay or if she decided she was gay because her marriage didn’t work out.”She grabbed my hands and we sat down together on my couch. “I don’t know how long Craigslist has been around, but neither of us had certainly heard of it back then. And because my Yvonne was shy and couldn’t make herself to go socialize with strangers, she was having a terrible time. We had frank talks about it, and finally, I offered to help her explore her new feelings in a safe way.”I think by then my mouth was open and I was breathing through it, but she. "That anonymous tip you got to come here was from me. I wanted us tomeet conveniently close to the Damsels of Doom's headquarters."He trailed along behind her, his new figure causing him to wiggle whenhe walked. As they passed through a metal door he found himself in aspacious and stylishly decorated room. She led him to a vanity tablewith a mirror mounted on it. As he sat down he found himself staring athis familiar face above a very unfamiliar and gigantic set of milk-bags."I know," she said with false sympathy. "It's ridiculous for you tohave a male face and such an exaggeratedly female body. So how aboutyou do some more makeover work? For starters, soften your face. Giveyourself an upturned pug nose. And definitely let me see some pillowlips. No, I mean a real puffy kisser. That's more like it. And I knowyou can control your hair the same way, so get rid of every bit of it onyour body. Okay? And make your eyelashes a whole lot longer. Thatlooks terrific. Flutter.
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