Me: why were you tensed that day? P: leave it, it was a common issueMe: but it was very sad to see you in such a situationP: thanks for your care & loveMe: is there something you don’t want me to tellP: nothing… As you know that your uncle is jobless & we are facing very bad financial crises.Me: if you don’t think bad let me pay the feesP: thanks kiran I love you for your kindness towards meI gave a rs 5000 to her & asked her to pay the fees & for the remaining money asked her to take new saree after some hesitation she took the money & she kissed on my cheeks for all the love & care, after two days there was a diwali festival they were planning to go to the temple, she asked me to accompany her family for as her husband is not coming due to some work, I was very happy and while returning she sat in the front seat of my car I was thinking that my darling is sitting beside me, while changing the gear I intentionally touched her stomach for which she did not say anything after returning. Every bitof me still felt like me. The me that wouldn't be feeling this? Thatperson felt strange and foreign. I couldn't understand them. Why wouldn'tthey be mad?I wanted to talk to Elizabeth about this, but I just couldn't. So I didwhat all guys do and I swallowed my feelings. I took it on the cheek,shaking my head and pretending that everything was alright, even as myheart bled all over the floor. I didn't know how else to behave. Ipretended that everything was fine, hating her for not being able to readmy mind, hating her for not being so in tuned with my soul that she couldsee the pain I was holding inside.That night we had sex, because, well, despite everything we were bothstill so damn horny. But as she pounded into me that's all it was - sex.It was animal and raw and without romance. I missed how things used tobe. It wasn't even all Elizabeth's fault. I was being distant and all thewhile hating myself for being so, even when times like this were whenintimacy was the most.
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