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I guess I used rather lame excuses. In truth I wanted a clean slate; I didn't need him to help me remember the shameful disaster. Of course I never told him that — you know me by now.I started to avoid him and began dating Steve. It was a conscious move to fight my way back into sanity — Steve being the epitome of sanity. Roger was part of the craziness that almost ruined me — at least that was what I told myself. Fear and guilt made me place the causes of my ruin outside myself. It seemed the shortest way to recovery, so I had to avoid him and everything else connected to the year of disaster. Yes, I guess I was always better at being selfish than at being fair.Through the next year I gradually convinced myself that Roger accepted the new reality. I had a hard time understanding why he kept hovering around, though, even becoming friends with Steve. I only much later understood that Roger Chesterton might well be the most patient person on this earth, trained to perfection by a cruel. But still I wouldn’t give in to him. I forced my hands up on his chest and pushed away, as I turned my head to avoid another kiss. We struggled for a few seconds, and my legs split on the tiled floor. My heels skidded and Andrew managed to grab me by my shoulders. He hauled me back up until my legs were straight again. I slapped his face and he grabbed my wrist. He soon had my other wrist under control, and that is when I gave in. I bent my head forward to kiss him and he pulled away. He pulled me along as he sat in one of the kitchen chairs. I was soon bent right over his knee, and my skirt was yanked up. ‘Fuck off you jerk!’ No spoon this time, just the palm of his hand. He delivered about 6 slaps in quick succession. My high heels again started skidding over the tiles, and my hair was hanging to the floor. He just held me there and I gave up struggling. He was panting as much as I was now. ‘Andrew, the blood is rushing to my head,’ I said, and then blew a clump of hair out of my.
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