This led me to having a scary moment where I had a bottle of pills onbed, and I was trying to figure out how many would kill me, since takingtoo many would just make me sick. After more than an hour of looking atthe pills and fighting my natural instinct to stay alive, I gave up, andput the pills back in their bottle, and shook with agony and grief untilI fell asleep.The next day, I went out to a quiet field behind my house, sat down, andlooked up in the sky.Then I started screaming.I shouted as loudly as I could, calling God every name I could think of,using more swear words in this speech than I had used in the sixteenyears previous. I think my idea was to get God so mad at me he'd do whatI couldnt do the night before and end my life.By the time I was finished speaking, I was hoarse and my face was wetfrom tears.Then something amazing happened.It's hard to describe, but it was like I was no longer looking at acloudy sky, I was looking right at the throne of God.And He was looking. . but dammit, each of them were hot! He could admit, at least to himself, that he would fuck the hell out of all three of them if he thought he could get away with it.Still, it didn't look like that was going to happen. Sometimes fantasy was better than reality. And sometimes fantasy BECAME reality- case in point, Tina. Remembering her giving herself to him again put a smile on his face and blood in his... nether region.Laughing softly to himself, Jake got up out of bed. Maybe a glass of milk would help. He quietly padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. As he opened up the fridge and grabbed the carton, he heard a soft sound in the living room, almost like music. After a pause, it became clear the television was on. Jake frowned. His parents didn't like it when someone left the TV on- it was almost an automatic lecture about wasting electricity. Quickly he poured himself a glass and strolled into the room to shut it off, taking a sip as he passed through the doorway. The glass.
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