'No one told me you was a lippy one, ' he said. 'What you have to understand, Mister Bendy, is that when you come here, I'm the one with the lips. Maybe, ' he continued, turning towards The Handyman, 'trying on those special cricket pads of mine for a minute or two would help Mister Bendy understand better how things are done.''Aw, Quick, ' said The Handyman, 'no cause to go getting out the pads. I'd hate to see you and Bendy get off to a bad start. You know how long it's took to find someone to write your 'auto'biography. He's brought a couple of pages of notes he's made ... he's managed to contact someone who remembers you from school. Show him what you've brought, Bendy.'Quick snatched the notes from me, and while he glanced at them The Handyman mouthed the word 'percentages' at me. After about half a minute Quick gazed up at the ceiling, and Teef gave me a further hint by moving his hand in front of his mouth to encourage me to speak.'Can I just ask how you see the percentages. Her leg pressed against mine, and part of me pressed hard into my trousers for most of the night. All too soon it was getting late. I had no idea how so much time had passed but they were calling last orders and I was going to have to leave her. I didn’t want to, I wanted to take her home and make love to her for the rest of the night. Just as I was trying to work out my next line she seemed to pre-empt me. ‘Come on. It’s time for you to take me home,’ she said. I just stared at her. ‘I’m pissed babe, there’s no way I can drive.’ She rolled her eyes as though I was an idiot. When she explained I realised I was. ‘God, you’re surprisingly dense. I mean, take me to your home. It’s time for you to live up to your promises and give me the best sex I’ll ever have.’ She was smiling at me, amused at what she was saying. I just sat their open-mouthed. How did this come about? I hadn’t even really tried it on, and she was the one making the moves. I would have analysed it a bit more if my.
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