" What do you mean?" Well, look around. On the one hand this is a typical boy's room. The color scheme on the walls, the curtains, even the bedspread, are all very masculine. Then you have all of those sports posters. It looks quite a bit like my brothers room. Then you have your makeup mirror, all of your makeup, etc. on your desk. When we look in your closet you have a bunch of boys clothing shoved in the back and then you have all your new Kelly clothing. It looks like you are just visiting here and you're staying in this room, but it really isn't yours." I see what you mean. I kind of feel like that sometimes. I have been Jason my whole life and I've only really been Kelly for a couple of months. On the one hand, I feel really, really, comfortable as Kelly. I can relax and be myself; I don't have to be this macho 'boy.' But I don't feel like a different person, it's more like I feel like myself. I like being called Kelly; it makes me feel accepted. But I always. I never told either girl about my time traveling adventures.I had made that mistake with the VA doctors once and I came quite close to winding up in a mental facility and some harsh treatment to get me back to “reality” in medical terms and away from outrageous fantasies caused by my PTSD and combat fatigue. After that I was extremely careful about anything I related either orally or in answering a questionnaire about my thoughts.Strangely, I felt a little distorted in my place in the present because I kept having memories of my trips into the past confusing me about reality and fantasy in the real world.I decided that my best course of action was to just remain detached from the memories of the past and wait for my next trip which I suspected was not far in the future. I was starting to get those little hints of my mind wandering and caught myself staring out a window simply looking at the clouds racing across the sky in a race that never ended. I wondered where they were going and.
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