Grainer’s security system, we could simply look inside the man’s house. What we need is someone with experience hacking networks.”Jason stood and paced. “I need to get inside.” He stopped and smiled. “Alfred, do you like caper movies?”Unusually for Alfred, there was a noticeable pause before he replied. “Well, The Italian Job is a particular favorite.”“Good, are you up for assisting me with a small caper?”“The estate?”“No, my former employer. There are libraries full of software hacking tools we can copy. Then we’ll tackle the estate.” Jason sat and started a shopping list. “I need to pick up a few things.”“Jason, shortly after you moved out, your father and I researched your former employer. The late director, Garnel Curley, published a number of papers on developing artificial intelligence. We determined the resulting AI might not be friendly to its creators. The news stories from two weeks ago seem to have confirmed our fears.”“You guys figured this out on your own?”“There is a. .”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings.
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