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With dread I cracked the door open, thinking it was the odious Davis,trying to pester me again. Luckily it was Sheila, my only friend in thebuilding.I opened the door wider as she breezed in.'Hi Tony, how's tricks?'Sheila was about 28, a lovely red head and had a body that men drooledover. She was still in her nurses' uniform and looked as sexy as any ofthose pics on those magazines that I have to go on tiptoe to reach inthe newsagents.She plonked herself down on my shaky bed and crossed here shapely legs.I dragged my eyes away and said, 'Davis was after me for money again.''That turd should be put away somewhere. How long have you got?''Until Friday.''I'll lend you some money, but I can't afford all of it.''Thanks Sheila but I won't take your money; you can barely affordliving here as it is.''We'll talk about it later. Oh here's your mail, I picked up as I camein.'She gave me three letters.'Thanks.'I took them and opened the first one. It said that I am guaranteed towin pots of money. “I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!”Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I.
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