...Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever understand.And Tammy's counting on being the girl in that picture, I can tell this inthe way she talks about our future. And yet the more time I spend withher, the more I envy her more than I desire to be with her. She'd neverwant anything more to do with me if I told her.And then there's Dave. We've been friends forever, but if I told. He catches my wrists and pulls me back against him, grinding himself against me. He leans down and scrapes his stubble across the base of my neck, as I shudder with pleasure. I can see our reflection, and I love the way we look. Him intent and hungry, me abandoned to sensation, the curves of our bodies as we strain toward each other. He drops my wrists, and as one hand slips under my shirt to peak my nipples, the other unhooks the waistband of my jeans. With my hands free to roam I slide them back and trace the bulge of his erection through the thick denim of his jeans. I can hear him inhale even as his finger unerringly finds its way to my clit. He traces a slow firm circle and I gasp and thrust my hips back against him, hungry for more. He catches my wrists again and pulls them sharply away. I resist, wanting to touch, but he twists my arms up behind me and pushes me toward the bedroom. I stumble a bit as he releases me but catch myself on the bed. He bears down on top of me.
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