I was barely still breathing when she collapsed, her eyes rolled into the back of her head. I caught her and held her naked breasts against my chest as I drifted off, the tears now coming from my eyes rather than hers.What was I going to do with Kate?“So,” I said as we recovered our composure and turned again to our canvases, “what shall we do to commemorate our first time and our birthdays? It’s only a month away. We need to celebrate.”“I just did. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than crawl in bed with my lovers. I can’t believe that just eleven months ago I was a virgin and now I have a beautiful man and three insatiable women to share my bed with each night.”“Not to mention the occasional playmate,” I laughed, remembering catching her with Allison. “How about if the five of us go to Las Vegas for a long weekend? That has all the trimmings of a typical way to celebrate our twenty-first.”Silence. I turned to look at Kate. She was staring at me. Her eyes were brimming with. When you're hurt by someone who can't feel pain, you wish you never fell in love. Never in lust, never started talking, never meeting. You wish you could erase their smell so you wouldn't ever have to think about why you remember it so well. You wish you can't vividly remember how their arms felt and how they were once so welcoming.When you love someone who doesn't love you back, you are pathetic. You cry in bed while replaying your first kiss, first date, the time you fell asleep together. You can remember every feeling from the first time you felt love to the first time your heart skipped a beat because, well, it was ending. You remember the goosebumps running down your back when you last touched her hand as you left her home in Newark. That was the last time you'd be in her presents And that was the last time you touched her leathery skin that was wet from your tears. And that was the last time she would know how much you loved her.You replay every memory over and over until.
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