I like to thank the few friends that stuck it out with me through my hard and troubled life but I can no longer be there with you for I need to stop this pain and suffering. To my dear family. Yes I am aware that I was and always will be the black sheep. I do not blame you for occasionally forgetting me or ignoring me. I was a quiet child and I love you all dearly. Kelly my dear older sister I do not blame you for the years of abuse, the bruises, broken nose, and handprints on my back, or shattered dreams. I love you now and forever as my sister and I will never blame you. Now world as I matured and grew I began to understand that you are cruel and I need to look out for myself. But I did a poor job of that too. I was pushed around and taken advantage all the time. When I was 17 I found someone I thought was the love of my life. As I write this I am crying. I forgive him for all that he has done but the memories still plague me. I do not blame you for not thinking before acting, so. In that frame of mind I just got out of the house not caring for my son, not caring for anyone,” she sobbed.“I walked on the beach at east coast thinking of avenging you…, avenging for the pain you have given me, avenging for making me care for you for so long… the first thing that came to my mind was ‘tit for tat’ and I grabbed the first willing guy, he was Richard. He took me to the dark side under the trees and fucked me. That was my first time with any other guy. I thought I was doing it for a purpose and I won’t be enjoying it but it was pleasurable,” she smiled admitting it.“When I come back home I felt the rage in me and I wanted to confront you immediately but then I stopped, it was like letting you go too easily, I wanted you to feel the same agony, same pain that I have gone through. I was humiliated by your behaviour and I want you to feel the same humiliation. So I didn’t talk to you and acted normal. I thought about what should be done. You would be surprised how many.
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