What I really wanted was an underwear model, but my imagination made it possible to settle. I thought I was using her back then. I probably was. We started out as friends. I knew she wanted more than that, but my ego told me she was a step down for me. Then I got to know her. When one of my friends told me he was going to ask her out I panicked and declared my love for her. I thought I was being cruel. I thought I was playing with her emotions, but really this was all a denial of the truth. My wish before I ever met Dana, when I was dressing myself in lingerie as an undergrad, was to find what I called an alternative girl. I dreamed of finding a woman who wouldn’t flinch when she heard about my sexual fantasies. She was a girl willing to have sex before marriage. She was willing to do everything Raquel and I had done in my car back in high school. She went to church but wasn’t married to religion. She just wanted to have me, please me. Dana had all of these things. And the more. There's something addictive about driving a brand new vehicle, and it's twice as bad when the vehicle has two wheels and close to a hundred and eighty horsepower.When I walk into the office, Little Joe looks at my motorcycle setup and laughs in disbelief."You're riding? I didn't even know you had a motorcycle license." I've had the endorsement since I was sixteen, Joe. I may look like a mild-mannered geek, but I have deep and dark secrets." Right," he chuckles. "Forgive me for my incredulity, oh fearsome biker geek." 'Incredulity'?" I grin. "Have you been looking up SAT words in Webster's again?" Hey, I have my secret aspects, too."I walk over to my office and dump all the riding gear on my guest chair: helmet, gloves, scarf, balaclava, and leather jacket. The only drawback to riding is the amount of time needed to get suited up and undressed, although I feel a little bit like a test pilot preparing for a flight whenever I put on all the riding stuff.There is something different.
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