I did a lot things that were a bit unsafe, like having unprotected sex with strangers, but I calmed down. Now, I’m very careful about whom I sleep with.” We had another drink and chatted some more, and then I left and went home. I spent the next week thinking about the possibility of having sex with another man. I finally decided that if I didn’t at least try it I would be missing an opportunity that I might regret later in life. I called Matt and arranged to meet him for lunch. As we were eating I told him of my decision. “I knew you would,” he said. “Could you set it up for me? I don’t know any gay men apart from you,” I asked Matt. “If you want, I know of a bi-man. He’s very good looking, clean and discreet. I’m sure he’ll be up for it.” A week later Matt called me and asked to meet him at his flat. When I arrived he told me the other man was there. He introduced us and we shook hands. His Name was Alan; he’s about forty-five years old, with the body of a thirty year old.. .. *** The doctors barely talk tome anymore.? They look at me in thewaiting room as they walk by.? They shaketheir heads and keep moving.? I long toscream and holler at them that I am not a monster, that I couldn't have donethis to my baby...not to my little girl.?I couldn't...I wouldn't.? I loveher.? This is some mistake...an effect ofthe tranquilizer, a tainted batch of the drug, or perhaps it is some rare germthat had invaded her food the day before.?But I didn't do this...I couldn't...I wouldn't...I love her.? She's my girl, my precious little girl andshe is my world.? I wouldn't...Icouldn't...I didn't... *** "Help me!!!!? Help me!!!!"? Loud screaming breaks the quiet stillness ofthe early morning hours.? I jerk with thepure terror in her voice, in a voice I hadn't heard in so long.? I sit dumbfounded as her body lunges upwards;her arms reaching out to claw and scratch at the light that is now surroundingher, at the sunlight filtering through the trees. "Noooooooo!!!? Go.
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