Steve sat on his bed,took his shoes off, and then settled back on some pillows. "Hey, you wannahit the lights?" Sure." I got up, hit the switch, and was going to sit down as the videowas beginning. Steve motioned to sit next to him on the bed."Here, sit here. It's more comfortable." He handed me a pillow. I sat nextto him on the bed, sitting sideways, back against the wall. "This way wecan both face the tv."The video started. The first sequence had one guy and one girl. The actorswere really young, like teenagers or young 20s. The girl was really cute,and wasn't wearing any makeup at all, hardly. She had a nice smile, andlooked like she was really enjoying herself. The guy looked like he couldbe from my school or the local community college. They were outside in thebackyard, and the girl stripped down to her panties and struck some posesfor the camera. Then she got down on her knees, and started to unzip theguys blue jeans. His dick was really hard, and she started reallyworshipping. What Zax actually asked was if a life on the Martial path can also include or integrate with the conventionality of a normal way of life and still not be impeded. What he asked was if a longevity that centered on self Martial desire can be attentive toward social and relational commitments. What he asked was if it is acceptable for him to stay in closed doors for months or more and miss the short time of his loved ones. What he asked was if he could find a way to invest if Anet will want more. What he asked was if Anet will say "enough" then could he still be together with her, till she lived up her life, and then resume his journey on the Martial path. What he asked was if there was not a way to preserve who and what is important to him.And there were more questions that words could not describe, only feelings.All of these dawned on Zax couple of months ago, when he felt close to finding the fifth spark of light and realized how long it might take him to adapt to the to the fifth.
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