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Maybe even ... No, I can’t go there. But the point is, you have proved to yourself that you can have a relationship and not get hurt so maybe when the right girl comes along—and she will come along, Paul, mark my words—when she comes along you’ll be able to have a relationship and call it a relationship and not worry about getting hurt or any of that crap. You know, like a normal person.”I didn’t answer.“But for me, it wasn’t about getting hurt, it was about trust. I trusted James, at first, and he didn’t just betray that trust he completely disregarded it. It left me scared of trusting anyone again, scared that they might do the same. So I needed to know if I could trust again. Not just trust a guy, but trust myself to find a guy worth trusting, know what I mean?”I shrugged. Again.“You’ve shown me there are guys worth trusting and I’ve proven to myself that trusting someone and being in a relationship with them doesn’t mean letting them do whatever the hell they like to me, no. But I'm not sure what I can do about it.I changed subject, "I've got rid of all the bad films. And you were right, in a lot of them the language and the atmosphere was cold and abusive to the girls. I hadn't really noticed before." Well done, and thank you. I've missed you." I've missed you." I put my hand out to hers and gave it a squeeze.We sat and sipped our wine in silence, then she spoke, "You know I felt so empty when I left the Black Swan on Wednesday evening. I knew I'd been a bit over the top. I got halfway home and I turned round to come back, hoping I'd find you there. And then, just as I came round the corner, I saw Tim and Beth go in. I thought, well they're sure to talk to you, if you were still there, and I didn't think we needed them if I came back, so I did go home then." You mean I needn't have got rid of all those films, I've made myself bug eyed in the last forty-eight hours going through them all." Well, I don't know. I really didn't like them just there in your.
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